Goodbye to Grand Gestures
Routines Are Most Romantic
We have all been conditioned to expect an over-the-top love declaration scene at some point in every romantic comedy: it’s what the film industry has coined as “the grand gesture moment.” Even if our heroine goes overlooked and unappreciated throughout said movie, we know that with one big grand spectacle of affection, our protagonist will triumph and the love birds will reunite. It marks the resolution of any prior conflict and makes for a tear jerking extravaganza. So raise up your boom box, sing down a flight of bleachers, and make sure that it’s pouring rain when you profess your love because everything up until that point doesn’t matter -- the stakes are high and your big, one-time grand gesture moment will accomplish everything, right?
While “grand gesture moments” have become synonymous with the highest form of love, they are essentially a bandaid, an easy fix and quick solution to neglected issues swept under the rug. Romantic love shown in movies has seeped deeply into our subconscious convincing us that hey maybe I’ve neglected and taken this person for granted, but let me do this one big thing to make up for it. *insert any Molly Ringwald movie plot.* But you know what would never react well to an easy, one-time fix? Your skin. You wouldn’t treat your skin the way rich douchebag Blane treated Andie Walsh in Pretty in Pink, would you? The proof is in the pudding: when you neglect your skin and don’t appreciate it on a regular basis, you can bet it will fight back with blemishes, irritation, and redness until you have no choice but to pay attention and start respecting it. Our skin knows that quick fixes never compare to the diligence and daily effort we put in. I know that I can’t smear a ton of toothpaste on a zit and hope that the next day it will magically be gone, just like I know Blane is going to have to put in a lot more work to make up for his mistreatment toward Andie. *Andie obviously should have ended up with Dickie and that’s the last thing I’ll say about Pretty in Pink.* For real lasting results -- whether you're building a healthy relationship or healthy skin -- you must be willing to put in a little work every day.
At the end of the day love is an action, not a noun.
I imagine my skin saying, “Don’t tell me you love me, show me.” My skincare routine has become my daily act of self-love; without this routine, I would not be treating my skin the way it deserves. I don’t have an extreme 10 step double cleanse routine, or do anything fancy once a month. I stick to my basic routine of serums, creams, and exfoliants because I know that keeping to this and nurturing my skin a little bit every day will pay off in the long run. Love is patient, I tell myself. I’ve learned to be patient with my skin the same way I’ve learned to be patient in every other relationship I’ve had. I stand in front of my mirror every morning and night, appreciating each corner of my face, leaving nothing neglected or unappreciated. If my face looks puffy one morning I remind myself that just because my face is puffy and tired today, doesn’t mean it will always be puffy and tired. Skin changes and so do relationships. Be grateful for what you have now and love it endlessly. Love is kind, I tell myself. When you exude kindness to others, to yourself, and to your skin, it will be reciprocated.
My greatest love affair will always be with myself; the way I listen and tend to my body and its needs, habitually. My skin is not something I ever toss to the side or dismiss, it’s something that has my full attention, just like the other relationships in my life. It’s important to remember that relationships are like plants that need watering. Texting, facetiming, and voice-memoing are how I like to water my long-distance friendships and it’s this commitment to my friends that has maintained our connection and foundation of love. The act of loving and self-love are choices we make day-to-day, so instead of putting value on a single grand gesture. This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate all the things we can do a little bit each day and maintain these habits for a healthy, lasting outcome. Here’s to a year (not a single day) of love!
5 THINGS I DO EVERY DAY:
1). Platinum Long Lash Serum
Hey Ariana Grande, this one taught me love and patience all in one! I know my lashes can’t grow as long as I want them to overnight, so I’ve been routinely applying Dr. Devgan’s Long Lash Serum twice a day for the past 3 months and am getting the results I’ve been looking for!
2). Yoga With Adriane
I love coming home after work and tuning into a yoga session with Adriane! It helps my mind,
body and soul and definitely has improved my posture over the weeks of classes.
3). Text or Voice Memo Long Distance Friendships
It’s hard to balance work life with making time for long distance friendships, especially during quarantine. Friends are like plants that need watering; texting, facetiming, and voice-memoing are my versions of watering my long distance friendships.
4). Read Half a Chapter
Picking up a new book can be daunting but I make it my goal to get through half a chapter or a few pages each night to keep myself on track. Infinite Jest doesn't look that scary when you only need to read 15 pages a night. Take that DFW!
5). Dr. Devgan’s Luxury Skin Care Collection
What is so important about Dr. Devgan’s skincare products is that they work best when you use them together. Maintaining a habitual routine with the Luxury Skin Care Collection has given my skin the holistic treatment it deserves on a regular basis. It really is the whole package!
By Caroline Campos